Jealousy, celotipia

Jealousy, celotipia



celosLa celotipia. Jealousy is an emotion that arises from wanting to own exclusively the beloved person. The fear of loss, real or not, planned as a threat. We normally associate this feeling to partner, but it can also occur between siblings, classmates...



Jealousy and envy, have the same motive: the need to own. The jealous manifested their fear to lose their possession, i.e. considered to be yours and does not want anyone to remove it. The envious wants instead to what does not. Jealousy can be a manifestation of love, can be positive while respect the standards accepted by the couple.



Jealousy may not be bad
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The jealous feels bad when you see or imagine your partner with others. Feel anxiety and nervousness when it happens. Frequent is the constant comparison ("am lower that...", "I'm less sympathetic that..."), facilitating the underestimation and the need for demonstration of affectionby the other person. The comments and gestures of the other are analyzed thoroughly, looking for evidence. Acts motivated by mistrust, refuses to go out with other people and be angry if your partner shares his time with others. The State of surveillance is continuous, leading youto spy on your partner correspondence, calls... in order to ensure loyalty or find evidence supporting a possible adventure.



ejemploLos jealousy, the celotipia, when they exceed a reasonable dose, destroy the couple. For example, it is reasonable that we can feel jealous when a person of our same-sex talk regularly with our partner. But in the long run the jealousy can destroy the relationship: the constant threat, feel that each behavior, is watching will make late or early thecouple to change the way they behave, that it destroys the possibilityof dialogue and finally, the fear of losing the other, just taking the relationship to an end. It would be a self-fulfilling prophecy.



Jealousy and the self-fulfilling prophecy
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imagePara overcome jealousy, the first thing is to realize that you are it. We must try to discover what moments one behaves in a jealous way. Write down what is done, what it feels like and what you think of those moments will help understand and better reason their origin. Of course, should discuss it openly with the couple. Perhaps jealousy havebasis, but perhaps not so, if thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, is likelythat they can find many errors of interpretation. You would have to tellthe jealous, if your partner is with him it will be because he wants to you as it is, it is not necessary to compete. It is better to devote energies to strengthen and not to destroy the relationship. It is necessary to improve dialogue, respect and trust. To achieve all this, the best way isto plan new activities together looking for enjoy with it.



Dialogue, respect and trust.
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The jealous ends, can have quite exaggerated demands that even being accepted does not soothe the feeling of insecurity. They limit the lifeof the couple so that they do not allow them to leave home, talk withothers, manage... The fear that love is stronger. We could recommendthese people that continue not enduring all that, seeking support to deal with the problem, who do not feel guilty for what happened and that attempt to help your partner with specialized care. The celotipia areoften very associated with stormy relations where conflicts are the main form of relationship. If you want to know more about how to avoid jealousy, do not stop reading this article link.



This article is closely related to the technique of detection and copingwith the dreaded consequence, DACT, encourage you if your problemis jealousy you read this article in detail. It can help you deal with jealousy when they reach the degree of pathological.




Jealousy. Do you or someone who knows answer to this pattern of jealousy?. Make us your comments, share your experiences. If this article found him interesting, share it. Click the icons of social networks, thanks

HOW TO OVERCOME A BREAKUP OF COUPLE

Overcome the breakdown of a relationship is not easy and it takes its time, but there are some things you can do to overcome it faster:



1 controls your thoughts. Now you tend to think of that person frequently and possibly spend enough time a day to remember it, fantasize about his return, trying to discover what went so wrong, analyze what happened, etc. I.e. you can fall into a State of obsession that makes yousuffer. As a result of what you think, your emotions can vary throughout the day. For example, you can feel sadness at the thought that thisperson is no longer in your life, feel anger at the thought that you let you, feel guilt if you think that you did something that caused the rupture, etc. Thus, depending on what you need every time, your emotionsmay be changing frequently and make you feel unsteady, as if you could control them. Here are some things you can do to control your mind (and your emotions):



-Propose you reduce everything you can while you spend thinking about your ex-partner. You will not be able to avoid arising out your memories in your mind but yes you can cut those thoughts when they appear, saying: "Enough, you don't think about them, think or do another thing" and focus your mind on something else. Do it all the times thatneeded, whenever you find yourself thinking about your ex-partner.



-A specific time spent thinking about things that you really need to think. It may have something to learn from what happened and that there are experiences that you need to process. The problem is not to think about certain things but you're not able to control your mind and those thoughts constantly arise and you prevent work or do your normallife. Therefore, propose an hour and a particular period (for example, half an hour at 9 in the evening) to think of things you want to think. Ifbefore that time they arise in your mind thoughts related to your partner, think: "now not." I think this tonight at the scheduled time"and it focuses your attention on what you're doing at that moment.



-Practice mindfulness. In addition to mindfulness meditation for a while each day, also you can live with mindfulness each time. In fact, everyone should live with mindfulness at all times because it is the best wayto keep your mind uncluttered and make the most of every moment. It's pretty straightforward. It is to focus your attention to 100% in everything you are doing, simply be, already is eating, work, clean the House, practicing a sport or any other task or activity that you do. Don't dothings with the head somewhere else, paying attention halfway or thinking about what are going to do next, or as if you were a robot on auto-pilot. Get every thing as if it were something fascinating, focusing allof your attention on every detail of what they do, using all your sensesto immerse yourself completely in such activity, feeling everything thatactivity makes you feel. When you focus your attention on something this so intensely, there is space so that your mind is full of unwanted thoughts.



-Read the following articles:



Intrusion of the mind: unwanted thoughts
Are you depressed? Change your thinking
The rational emotive therapy: how to change your thoughts
2 search for help and support from your friends. If you have a State ofdepressed mood and few wanting to leave, ask that you push, you take to the street. Let's say clearly that you need his help to get out of this.



3 keep you busy / with various hobbies, sport, work, studies, etc.



4. think (and repeat several times) that can withstand this, which is a stage, you should give yourself time to heal that wound, that you will befeeling better as time goes and you are perfectly capable of overcoming it. Remember that any breach brings with it a time of pain that wehave no choice but to accept until it fades. Repeat to yourself / a: "now pass this bad luck and I feel bad a season I have had but I can endure it until you pass".



5. do not forget that your life is made up of many things and people, that the life of a person is much more than a couple's relationship andthat all those things together give meaning to our lives. Your life is notempty to be without your ex-partner because it is full of many other things (everything with what you decide to fill it every day).

9 STEPS TO MAINTAIN A GOOD RELATIONSHIP

Research conducted to discover what makes a relationship work, noted that people who maintain a healthy and satisfying relationship, conducted psychological tasks that we list below:

 1. are separated emotionally from their families of origin; not to the point of becoming strangers, but enough so that its identity is separate from that of his parents and brothers.

 2 build an emotional closeness based on shared identity and privacy, while at the same time establish the limits necessary to maintain their autonomy and independence. I.e., they share a unique identity of partner and maintain their respective individual identities at the same time.

 3 establish a rich and enjoyable sexual relationship and protect it against the intrusions of the work and family obligations.

 4. couples with children is open to accepting the role of parents and absorb the impact of the arrival of a new be family, but learn to protect the privacy of each of them and the couple.

 5 they face and dominate the inevitable crises of life and the couple, no escape from them or deny them. 6 maintain the strength of the link between them in the face of adversity. The couple or marriage has to be a safe place in which both members of the couple can express their differences, anger or conflict.

7 they use humor and laughter to keep things in perspective and to avoid boredom and isolation.

8. take care, support each other, meet the needs of your partner of intimacy, support and comfort and provide a stimulus and ongoing support, helping your partner to grow and develop their abilities.

 9 kept alive the romantic and idealized love, images while at the same time they face the more sober realities of the changes wrought by time.

10 features to detect egocentrism

Self-centered personality: 10 features to detect egocentrism.
Usually, self-centered people use this feature as a psychological barrier that prevents them from acting taking into account the consequences of their actions on others. Often, the origin of this trait can be foundin your family experience, usually in an environment made up of parents of little affection, that projected onto the child desires of greatnessand omnipotence.



But how exactly is the self-centered personality? The following 15 traits are characteristic of the self-centered people.

Distorted self-image

1. false self-confidence
While the external image of the egocentric may appear a great confidence in himself, the reality is different. Self-centered people tend to bereally insecure. According to the German psychologist Erich Fromm, because a mechanism of Defense (1991). Projected a contrived self-confidence and they seem to believe all what they say, so may be persuasive and may be able to act as if they have a high self-esteem.



2. excessive self-esteem
Shows which excessively value themselves. However, the researcher D.M. Svarkic argues that this attitude may indicate just the opposite: a fragile self-esteem trying to compensate through efforts to be respected, recognized and admired by other people.



3. the feelings of grandeur
The self-centered person believed to be possessed of great talents and special skills, and think that their problems and needs can only be served by people with great ability and prestige. The environment of theself-centered person usually employ some expressions to refer to thisattitude, for example "believed a / to divo".



4 ambition and excessive expectations
As a result of their feelings of grandeur, self-centered people may be constantly focused on their fantasies of power, success, love, sex, etc. Itis not uncommon to think that at any moment his career eclosionara and become millionaires.



5 distortion of reality
The egocentric only accepts the reality that fits with his dreams of grandeur. It tends to not give credit or simply rejects those aspects of hislife that put into question its prestige and its image of perfect and admirable person.



Little empathy
6 it is unable to recognize the feelings of others
The poor demonstration of feelings and affective gestures toward thepeople around (be sensitive you would feel less) contrasts with the need of the egocentric be admired and flattered and respected. It is not very sensitive to others.





7. difficulty to assess personal characteristics of the person of your environment
This point generates a total lack of commitment, empathy and affection between the egocentric person and those close to them.

Hypersensitivity to the evaluation of others


8 it reacts excessively to the criticism you receive
Although you can not express it directly, the individual with egocentricpersonality is too be offended by any criticism (Kohut, 1972). It believes that others do not have enough level or authority to judge him, thatcriticisms are probably due to jealousy aroused by. They tend to be overly susceptible.



9 compared with others and feel envy
Concerned feel valued as better than others. Indirectly, the self-centered person expresses feelings of envy, it is not able to accept non-success. They are not able to accept the help of another person. This last point is paradoxical, since while they need to receive praise and respectfrom others, are unable to accept any kind of help.

Difficulties in interpersonal relationships

10 exhibitionism
The self-centered personality also manifests itself in certain attitudes as the motivation for the pleasure of feeling flattered and admired. Thisis often seen in excessive desire to wait be rewarded with praise for others, and also a permanent need of the attention. For this reason, they tend to show much tendency to occupy positions of public impact, from which can be object of attention and admiration (Akhtar and Thompson, 1982).

Guide to provide emotional first aid

Guide to provide emotional first aid

1 question what they want from you
Faced with a sad person, one of the first questions you should do is:what can I do for you? It is at that moment when it begins the emotional support of truth, has more than under the investigation of whathappened. Prioritizes your well-being to your curiosity to know whatcould happen.



2 listen to what you say
Support is, among other things, listen and facilitate the other can vent to release tension. Therefore, you should not take a role as active toclearly lead the relationship that the sad person and you have. Support is just that: be willing to help the other person, pay attention to their needs, and not to saturate it with tips or activities imposed. For this reason, the most important thing you can do is practice active listening, i.e. less than the other person speak and do it to make it it that ifyou want to, can express itself.



3. do not despise the silences
Do not have why to feel discomfort if the time you spend giving company to the other person is fraught with silences: is normal. Accompanying physically this person already can be helping, and words are something secondary almost always. Tries, in addition, that the other person note that for you there is no problem in staying long time without saying anything. So you won't have to act on commitment.





4 cry isn't bad
It seems absurd to have to say it, but it is never wrong to remember this. Today cry is frowned upon, especially in the case of men, and yetis a mechanism present in all cultures used to download tensions, exhausting the body and, in a way, relieved. It is also a good time to strengthen ties through the embrace, since this physical contact can bemade from that moment on the person who is sad feel more wrapped and freer to express thoughts and feelings that afflict it.
You can complement this point by reading the following article: "howto give bad news? 12 keys to emotional"


5. he respects your privacy
Provide emotional support to someone does not mean that we are sealing a pact with that person that you offer company to change thatreveals you all the reasons of her sadness. One side of this feeling ofgrief is verbalizable, but there is another that inevitably is intimate and subjective, either the person prefers not to reveal it. It is importantto respect that.



6. look at the important details
Someone who goes through a bad time is able to spend much timepondering what happens or focusing on their emotions and, therefore, is able to forget important things in their daily lives. If you can, tryto be there to look if this person is going through high things important both in its planning of the day to day as in small gestures and movements that can be done.



7 respects your desire for solitude
There are many people who prefer to be alone when they are sad. Why you not insist on being next to them whatever they say and do what they do. Leaving a space you can be helping it recover and, in any case,you can always clarify that they can count on your company at any time if at any time you want them.

What music hear smart people?

What music hear smart people?

In a previous article of mind and psychology, we could see a study that linked the preference for musical styles determined with the tendency to possess a certain personality profile. In the study that we are discussing today, Virgil Griffith, American creator of software and application developer, set out to investigate the link between the musicaltastes of the people and their academic performance. The conclusions of the study were collected in the dossier "Music That Makes You Dumb" (music that makes you stupid).



The results of this detailed analysis were found after crossing the average grade in the entrance exam to university students with the music published and shared on the social networking site Facebook. As we see, a little scientific methodology, but it is worth echo us the results found, nor be as a cornerstone towards further research evaluatingthe relationship between these two variables: intelligence and musical preferences.



Rock for intelligent and reaggeton for fools?
According to the results, young students who earned poor ratings were who liked to hear music artists such as Lil Wayne, The Used, Beyonce or Jay-Z, the genres of Hip Hop and Reggaeton being the most commonly heard by this type of students. On the contrary, those who gained a bright note in the entrance exam were crossed with the greatcomposer Ludwig Van Beethoven.



Within the sector with high ratings, also were reported repeatedly bands such as U2, Counting Crows, The Shins, Bob Dylan or the BritishRadiohead. Closely following this outstanding list of Red Hot Chili Peppers, Coldplay, or groups.





The musical tastes of the average students (those who not noted neither for good nor for evil, average students) included groups like Pearl Jam, System of Down, AC/DC's legendary Australians, Oasis or TheDoors. The author of the study rated visually all data in a table that was posted on its website, and we offer below.





Discussion
The methodology of the study is certainly questionable. First of all, the study was presented in the media as the correlation found betweenthe varying intelligence and musical tastes, when really the researchnot measured strictly none of them. With regard to the first, it should be noted that establish a total symmetry between intelligence and academic performance is quite imprecise. With regard to the second, it is likely that what we share on Facebook is not a reliable criterion tomeasure our tastes and preferences.



Furthermore, it should be explained that, obviously, there is no scientific evidence that allows to say that there is a certain type of music that makes us "more intelligent" or "dumber". It is a statistical question,mere correlation. We will have to further investigate to see up to what point there some sort of relationship between the level of intelligence and the preference by some or other musical groups.

"Trump spent the last four days of his campaign with attacks personal directed to me, and this is the result", said Hillary Clinton through a called filtered by media U.S.
. The democratic excandidata to the Presidency of the United States,

 Hillary Clinton, criticized the director of the Bureau Federal of investigation (FBI) James Comey, by having announced a few days before the election, new research related to the use of mail servers private when he was Secretary of State (2009-2013) this Saturday. "There are many reasons why a choice like this has no future," said Clinton after a call t leaked to media.

 "the analysis is that the letter from Comey, who raised doubts that were instigated, stopped our momentum," said Clinton, who had to face hard setbacks of Trump for new research, related to the computer of the family of one of his advisers.

 This second movement of Comey is developed in "a real motivation for them voters of Trump", that as the millionaire believe that the system is "rigged" for protect them interests of the elites political and favor to them Clinton, added the excandidata presidential.